Ever hear a song that just hits you at the right place, at the right time of your life, and becomes "your" song for a while? Not one you share with your partner; but your own personal mantra.
I have one. I don't know how I managed not to know this one till now (well, actually, I do; I don't listen to commercial radio much and *never* listen to Top 40 stations, so I'm always behind on the new music) because it's from 2002. It became my song this spring when I was going through some difficult times; at times I wondered whether I was being unreasonable, or expecting too much from others; sometimes I wondered whether I was completely crazy. Hearing this song, and reading the lyrics, reminded me that I can only be who I am, and unapologetically so. The lyrics honestly proved to be a catalyst during that hell; the "coincidence" of which reminds me of my husband's belief that there are no real coincidences. In any case, here it is:
Don't Ask Me Why - Seven and the Sun
Don't ask me why
Don't ask me to explain I will not try
I'm who I am
That's all you need to know
So let it go
I will not change for you or anyone at all
I'm who I am I'm all I ever need to know
And you know I'll never be afraid
Don't ask me why
Don't ask me to pretend I will not try
There's more to me
Then you will ever know or ever see
I will not change, no I will never compromise
I'm who I am I'm all I ever need to be
So let go or turn and walk away
What we are
What we are
We're deeper than the sea
Higher than the stars
The gods we long to be
What we are
What we are
We're beautiful you see
Brighter then the sun
We're all we need to be
Showing posts with label anxiety/depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety/depression. Show all posts
June 06, 2007
May 12, 2007
Emerging
I've had a rough time of things this spring. I have troubles with anxiety and depression, and though for the most part I keep it under control, this late winter and spring have been really difficult.
I'm so glad the warm weather is here. Mother's Day is the day after tomorrow and that is my traditional "gardening kick-off" each year, although this year I had some bulbs come up, since I actually got my butt in gear last fall to get some tulips, crocuses and grape hyacinths planted! The tulips are beautiful orange, and the grape hyacinths are, of course, purple. They look absolutely gorgeous! The tulips have just come into bloom and the others have just started poking their little purple bunches out. The crocuses were white and yellow and I have to admit, they were a bit of a disappointment. They were really tiny. I hope they do a bit better next year, being more "established" than this year.
I have several hundred kilgrams of dirt and shit in the back of my car. Literally. Six 30 litre bags of black earth, 3 20kg bags of sheep manure and 2 30 litre bags of organic compost. I am building a raised vegetable bed for the back yard. Well, more accurately, Brandon is building it and I will maintain it. It's going to have latticework up the back so that I have (a) some privacy from the neighbours, and (b) a place to grow sugar snap peas! I have six tomato plants which will be ready to be hardened off and transplanted within a week or two. I have a bunch of beautiful little lavender plants started; fox glove plants; and one of my favourites, larkspur. They're so tall and showy; and prettier than delphinium.
I never could have imagined, when I was younger, that I would enjoy gardening so much as an adult! My parents always had a HUGE vegetable garden and I would have to weed the long rows of onions, carrots, tomatoes, etc. and I hated doing it. Now that the gardens are mine, even weeding is enjoyable. I just love to putter around. Granted, my gardens are probably 1% the size of what my parents have, but I'm still a newbie. With a tiny yard, no less. I am making use of what little space I have. I love the work involved in helping beauty flourish.
Life has the potential to be so drab, if we let it. Spring, summer and fall colours do so much to brighten our lives, and knowing that it happened at my hands, makes my enjoyment increase almost immeasurably.
I'm so glad the warm weather is here. Mother's Day is the day after tomorrow and that is my traditional "gardening kick-off" each year, although this year I had some bulbs come up, since I actually got my butt in gear last fall to get some tulips, crocuses and grape hyacinths planted! The tulips are beautiful orange, and the grape hyacinths are, of course, purple. They look absolutely gorgeous! The tulips have just come into bloom and the others have just started poking their little purple bunches out. The crocuses were white and yellow and I have to admit, they were a bit of a disappointment. They were really tiny. I hope they do a bit better next year, being more "established" than this year.
I have several hundred kilgrams of dirt and shit in the back of my car. Literally. Six 30 litre bags of black earth, 3 20kg bags of sheep manure and 2 30 litre bags of organic compost. I am building a raised vegetable bed for the back yard. Well, more accurately, Brandon is building it and I will maintain it. It's going to have latticework up the back so that I have (a) some privacy from the neighbours, and (b) a place to grow sugar snap peas! I have six tomato plants which will be ready to be hardened off and transplanted within a week or two. I have a bunch of beautiful little lavender plants started; fox glove plants; and one of my favourites, larkspur. They're so tall and showy; and prettier than delphinium.
I never could have imagined, when I was younger, that I would enjoy gardening so much as an adult! My parents always had a HUGE vegetable garden and I would have to weed the long rows of onions, carrots, tomatoes, etc. and I hated doing it. Now that the gardens are mine, even weeding is enjoyable. I just love to putter around. Granted, my gardens are probably 1% the size of what my parents have, but I'm still a newbie. With a tiny yard, no less. I am making use of what little space I have. I love the work involved in helping beauty flourish.
Life has the potential to be so drab, if we let it. Spring, summer and fall colours do so much to brighten our lives, and knowing that it happened at my hands, makes my enjoyment increase almost immeasurably.
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